climb through the window - berkeley, ca

March 23rd, 2009 by jillm

03.23.09 - climb through the window - berkeley, ca

i know now.
the email came today.
it wasn’t what i wanted,
it wasn’t what i hoped for…
no reason, no explanation.
just a simple statement…
you have not been accepted.
are you sure?
the university must have emailed me on accident.
uc berkeley…
a master’s of architecture…
environmental design
in the developing world…
doesn’t the program know
i was made for it
and it was made for me?
this wasn’t supposed to happen.

sometimes, when God closes a door,
it’s because He wants you to step out,
to risk…
and climb through the window.

what will i find?
how will i get there?
i don’t know…
but i trust.

personal history statement
statement of purpose
portfolio

………………………..
www.3-see.com

dancing shoes - berkeley, ca

March 21st, 2009 by jillm

03.21.09 - dancing shoes - berkeley, ca

everyone dances. some in steamy night clubs, others a grand plié on the horizontal bar. perhaps you skillfully avoid the cracks as you’re walking to work or maybe you spin around in your apartment when nobody’s watching. someway or another, you find a way to physically express an internal feeling, you bring to life dreams of silent rhythm, you move in a way only you can move. as for me? i like to dance on the soccer field.

i haven’t played outdoor soccer since college, but that’s what’s amazing when you learn to dance your dance, it’s like riding a bike. okay, so maybe i’m a little more winded… er… a lot winded… after 20 minutes of playing [how on earth did i play for 90 min without a sub in high school?!], and maybe i don’t have the finesse i once had on corner kicks. but when you find your dance, the skill matters less and the passion matters more.

i slipped my cleats again and sighed… oh, how my feet have missed you! the worn leather becomes an extension of my foot, a layer to my skin. the memory of the laces, the color of the sole… yes, i love wearing my black heels. and yes, new balance 760’s are my favorite. but nothing, i repeat, nothing, will ever replace my dancing shoes… it’s like dreaming with my feet.

happy president’s day

February 16th, 2009 by jillm

 patrick moberg

site content copyright: nellis 2005

3-see.com

January 9th, 2009 by jillm

last year,
i took a photo day,
every day,
for a year. [see here]

this year,
i will take a photo a day
every day,
for a year,
with my friends.

www.3-see.com

launch

We are…
women by our genetics,
kansans in our upbringings,
architects through our education,
creators by our nature,
writers of our thoughts,
runners for our outlet,
car-less by our choice,
spiritual in our understanding,
and photographers through our intuition.

Every day in 2009, we will stop a moment and take a photo.
Each day, from the east coast, midwest and west coast,
We will post our three photos side by side
For us to see and you to see.
We have no weekly plans nor assignments.
Our only intent is to capture beauty hidden in our everyday ordinary
And find inspiration in the midst of life’s menial tasks.
We believe every moment is laced with brilliance
And we will spend the next year in pursuit of it.
We hope in the process, you begin to see it too.

sunset dancing

January 4th, 2009 by jillm

01.03.09 - sunset dancing - san francisco, ca

sometimes, when i see the sun set over the ocean, i have no other choice but to…
do cart wheels.
one after the other after the other.

when i take the time to watch the day come to a close in nature’s simple yet unequivocal way, something within me unconsciously needs to respond…
to celebrate it…
to bask in the freedom of such unconditional beauty.
and without a preconceived thought, my body instinctively reacts by dancing in the sunset.

erika laughed at me when i started flipping around until i invited her to join me. denying such abilities, she hesitated until i gave her no other option. then without practice or training, she cart wheeled. one after the other after the other. her body knew the way, she just had to release it.

and it makes me wonder if we all are made to dance cartwheels in the sunset.

the wheels on the road…

January 2nd, 2009 by jillm

01.01.09 - the wheels on the road - berkeley, ca

… go ’round and ’round….
another year passed.
another year begins.
isn’t it funny that when we’re young, time cannot go fast enough?
as soon as we’re 8 we look forward to being 8 1/2.
when we’re 15, we cannot wait to be 16.
when we’re 18, we want to be 21.
when we’re 21, we want to be 25.
then something begins to change.
suddenly, we’re not wishing the years away.
time starts moving faster. and suddenly we find ourselves wanting to slow it down. to ask it to pass just a little bit slower so that what is can be savored before what will be as arrived.
yet strangely, despite this perceived change in time, the pace in which she passes has not changed.
she has continue to pass on the hour over the days for all the years the same this year as any other year before and any year after.
a round and around she goes.
the same yesterday as today and as tomorrow.
this year, i don’t want to slow her down.
i just want to enjoy her…
to squeeze every ounce of life out of her…
to live her fully.
here’s to another year of what will be… but more importantly, what is.

dear me… a review of 2008

January 1st, 2009 by jillm

you did good, kid. last year was full of ambitions and you tackled them well. before you can look forward, you need to look back, so let’s review…

OVERWHELMING SUCCESS
don’t let the blackberry become your digital leash.
for the past two months, you lived with your email disconnected from your phone and life is so much better. as much as i know you want it… don’t give into the iphone… it will control you. i’ve seen it happen

ride a bike again.
you successfully and i might even say triumphantly, participated in san francisco’s critical mass. you even began 2009 with a 2hr bike ride… keep it up… oh, and this year, buy yourself a bike. people are kind to let you borrow, but kindness has limits.

run to the ocean at least once a week.
while you were near, you did this well. no ocean nearby now, so i’ll you toss this one for next year.

find beauty.
project365 was an amazing experience in your everyday understanding of ordinary beauty. but the interesting thing about it, is you’ve only just begun. there is endless beauty to be found but don’t be overwhelmed, just take it one day and photo at a time.

make time not to relax, but be refreshed.
i know it was hard, but it was a good choice to put your TV in the closet (literally). it belongs better there and not in the center of your living room. evenings now are full of reading, running and friends… that is refreshing. (note: facebook is not refreshing)

buy a real camera
.
okay, so you didn’t buy it, but you have a fancy camera indefinitely on loan until you get your own or it falls apart. now, to save money for one of your own and as well as a fancy lenses to make things memorable.

apply for graduate school.
you did it! i cannot guarantee you’ll get in, but that’s okay. the first step was a big step and i am glad you took it. though a lot is riding on your approval, it’s okay. you have a better idea of who you are and where you’re going because of the process.

make friends with people who have cars
.
you are definitely hooked up now and you seem to be the first person people call when they go on vacation. make sure people continue to understand how much you appreciate it and ALWAYS fill their tank up with gas when you’re done. they’ll appreciate that.

commit.
you’re beginning to understand better what to say yes to and when it’s okay to say no… there is still much to learn, but that’s okay. we’re all a work in progress.

HALF-ASSED
read more classics.

seriously… did you even read one classic? you read a lot, i’ll give you that, but nothing of literary significance. how about we try for books over one hundred years this next year… literature, like wine, ages well.

run two half marathons.

you ran one in february (that race was miserable) but the only thing you did for the second was was register. you bailed the day before and passed your ticket onto another (poor kevin!). next year, register for the nike half again but this time, you’re going to train for it and actually run it! okay? okay.

write again.

writing this year was different than before and laced in the stories of your photographs. but what you didn’t do well is journal. that used to be your outlet, your processing grounds, your internal outlet. without it, you’re not fully you. the world needs you to be you so let’s get back to the journals.

be a friend.
although this year was much more about depth in your newly developed friendships, you can be really selfish. your schedule revolves around your needs and your priorities. friends don’t work like that. this year, make room for the story’s of others, pursue their time and let them know of their significance.

choose to love.
you’re getting better but this will always be a life long journey. you often love with expectations, with standards… love doesn’t work like that. love is giving your life away and when you do, you seem to find more of it. practice this again and again.

read the scriptures.
paralleling your lack of journal-ing is your scripture reading…once the source of your inspiration, these words often remain untouched. you let the urgent take over the important. your mornings, once the boiler of your day, have become just another start to the day’s urgent race. the scriptures have the power to transform your soul if you let it… so let the Truth sink in.

find Him here

sometimes you see Him or hear His voice but it’s not like it used to be. He is not sterile and to be quantifiable but moving and alive and real. if you want to breath life out into the world around you, you must first breath in and find His fingerprints in the everyday.

MISERABLY FAILED

cook more.
ha! i think i can count the number of times on my fingers you cooked in your own kitchen this last year. i know it’s small, i know you live on your own, but those aren’t good excuse. PLEASE save your money for graduate school and cook more. your future loan payments would really would appreciate it!

find a piano and play it again.

yeah, that didn’t happen. now doesn’t seem to be the time for this anyway. i’ll let you cross it off the list for next year.

go on dates.
hmmm… that’s a definite no. don’t really know what to tell you about that one. you’ve got some pretty steller girlfriends and drinks/dinner with them seems to be all you can keep up with. perhaps this year someone will be able to slip his way into your busy schedule.

learn to sail.
i give you props for going sailing a couple of times this year but watching someone sail is far from actually learning to sail. eric bought a sailboat and promised to take you out for a weekend… next year, make it happen.

master of architecture

December 29th, 2008 by jillm

when i applied for undergraduate schools, i only picked one.
… there was only one i wanted to attend for architecture.
when i was ready to serve with eMi, i only selected india.
… there was only one country i wanted to live at that time.
when i relocated to SF, i canceled all job interviews after Brightworks.
… there was only one place i wanted to work in this season.
when i walked across that stage at graduation, i really thought i was done. i had no intention of taking another test or writing another paper. graduate school was not in my plan… not in the realm of possibility. but life is funny like that.

three and a half years after my cap was thrown, i find myself starting the process all over again. this time, for different reasons and with a different perspective. the purpose seems more focused and tangible now. i am choosing to further my education, not to provide accreditation or bulk up the resume. i want to be equipped. where architects are needed most they are present least and i am compelled to go.

and now, as before, there is only one school who will receive my graduate school application. UC Berkeley seems to have a program made for me and i for it. see HERE. of the 110 people who applied for this specialty last year, only 10 people were accepted… the odds aren’t in my favor. but i guess that’s the good thing about knowing what you want and i’ll just keep trying. someday, they’ll have to let me in.

and i have to say, although i’d rather not do this all again, the exercise was quite rewarding. finally, thoughts which have been incubating for a couple years have been given form and life. ah, it feels good to write. i need to do so more often. [note to self: add to resolution list for 2009]

if you care to see the output of the projects, see…
personal history statement HERE
statement of purpose HERE
portfolio HERE

generation ‘we’

December 12th, 2008 by jillm


Generation WE: The Movement Begins… from Generation We on Vimeo.

i know the soccer player in this video!

mumbai under attack

November 28th, 2008 by jillm

for a the story in pictures, see HERE