no matter where i live or where i roam,
wheat will always remind me of home.
whether growing green or glowing golden,
their fingers wave at me in wonted.

i live in a place known for what it believes, not for what it is. the chapters in our history contain men and women who have fought for equal rights, free love, and environmental preservation. they have chained themselves to fences, lived in trees, and marched down avenues.

today, i joined their story.

if a child goes abducted or missing in the united states, the national news is called, the amber alert is issued, and all ears are perked. the police scour through fields, wade through water, and fly through storms until answers are found.

however, in africa, the story is different. the war in northern uganda has been called the most neglected humanitarian emergency in the world today. for the past 23 years, the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) and the government of uganda (GoU) have been waging a war that has left nearly two million innocent civilians caught in the middle. over 20,000 children have been abducted by the joseph kony’s LRA yet the world remains silent, the children remain invisible.

but not any longer. today, i symbolically abducted myself to take a stand for children who the world ignores. please take a moment and acknowledge the battle being waged and help us make these children visible once more.

search and rescue
invisible children
my photo set

there is so much more to see outside of our cul-de-sac neighborhoods and our starbucks outings… so much more to experience than our reality TV culture and our walmart shopping.

i love being in places i am forced to rethink my perspective and view of life… to be challenged to walk in the shoes of another and to see the world through their eyes.

i was 21 years old when i left the country for the first time. since then, i’ve tried to escape the borders at least once a year. it’s important to keep things in perspective.

sometimes, responsibilities get in the way of our dreams. they attempt to rearrange our priorities without our consent. often, we just throw our lives into neutral, enduring until things fall back into place. but other times, we realize we’re not truly living and we must set ourselves straight. it took awhile for it to dawn on me, but my job was one of those things. so today, i set myself straight.

i quit my job… i - quit - my - job…. i have to repeat this to myself slowly, trying to soften the stark reality of the statement. it probably wasn’t the smartest choice i’ve ever made. but sometimes the wisest choice is not always the smartest one.

and now i find myself stepping forward into the unknown. i don’t know where my next step will take me nor if the soil will be firm beneath my feet. but sometimes clarity comes in the midst of movement; answers come in the process of pursuit. i grieve the passing of my security and embrace what is yet to come. i turn and step forward; i open my hands and surrender my heart.

my landlord has a lemon tree in the garden behind our house. the branches bend with the weight of the bright yellow fruits and with each day, the load seems to grow heavier. i wonder each morning as i look out my window, what will become of all of those lemons?

yesterday she told me i can have them.
so today i made lemonade.
i don’t have to wonder anymore.

for most of the day, the sun is just a sun. it shines, it glows, it heats, it photosynthesizes. but for one moment every evening, the sun becomes more than what it does… the sun becomes a sunset. for in that moment, the sun comes home and hangs up his coat. he kicks off his shoes and puts his feet up. he clasps his hands behind his head and smiles. there’s more work to be done, but it can wait until tomorrow.

i am a first born…
aka…
i am self-critical, strong-willed, and stubborn.

it is hard for me
to loose control,
to ask for help,
to admit i need others.

which is exactly why i must
be reminded i am not in control,
learn humility by asking for help,
experience life by needing others.

thank you all for helping me live these lessons and limping along side of me.

to mark the quarter of our year together,
we have begun selling our photographs online.
buy me… 3-see…
go ahead… take a looksee.
http://www.3-see.com/looksee

somedays, i feel stronger than others, and it’s usually on the days i wear black. what is it about being clothed in this color that makes me feel more confident, more in control, more secure? color theory tells me black is associated with power, elegance, formality, death, evil, and mystery. maybe the theory is actually fact.

note to self:
if ever you come across an electrical cord in the future which has seen a little too much wear… don’t plug it in. it just might make a big popping noise, flash a bright blue light, sever itself and the point of explosion, and leave behind black rubber lines on your fingers.

yeah… how about you not do that again.