so let’s try this again.
The lights are off and my blinds are pulled. It’s not that I want people to see in, I simply want to see out. I hear night goers on the sidewalk below as they saunter from one bar to another. ‘The Page’ is one of our neighborhood favorites and a good place for them to spend an evening. I bet if my pajamas weren’t so comfortable and this curled up position wasn’t my favorite way to end a day, I bet we would talk. But as it is, I’m not going anywhere and they’re off to their next stop.
The third floor apartment across the street from me frequently leaves its curtains drawn and i see another woman sitting on a couch in her sweats on her computer. Hmm… I wonder if she’s writing a blog or contemplating the sights and sounds of her neighborhood. I would probably bet not because few other people seem to find such delight in the processing of their senses as I do. It is a strange train of thought, one that never seems to find conclusion or resolution, but is in a constant state of discovery in a cyclical journey. No, she’s probably just checking her email. 9 times out of 10, that’s what I’m doing as well. I shouldn’t present myself as being so purposeful.
Loud motorcycles whiz by and as much as their clamor disturbs the gentle traffic lull, I understand the freedom and excitement they are now enjoying and therefore, I excuse their presumptuous presence. An old Chevy drives by with the top down and Johnny Cash blaring from the speakers. I wouldn’t mind spending an evening that way either. He’s excused as well.
And if I let myself think about it long enough, I might have to admit… I like this city. I know the thought sounds simple and un-meditated, but it took me a long time to be able to say that. It took me awhile to find anything good to say about this place except that the weather is warm. But I think that’s finally changing.
Maybe San Francisco is like an onion… when you first cut into it, it makes you cry. But if you let it cook, if you pull it a part and allow it to saute, it really is lovely place and goes with pretty much anything. Well, maybe not chocolate chip pancakes and I guess a lot of people don’t like onions. Hmm… that’s not a very good analogy. I’m definitely not the caliber of cook to be able to make such cooking comparison with life lessons. But then again, I maybe I should try onions in my pancakes and maybe you should try onions again before you say you don’t want them on your hamburger. I promise, they are a wonderful vegetable. Hmm… I’ll think about this one a little more.
The urgent of life had taken over the important and
I didn’t know if it was necessary to continue this blog of musings.
But as I sit her, recording these thoughts,
I feel a little light flicker within, one which I haven’t felt in awhile.
The kind that seems to be filled with potential and energy.
The kind that makes me want to re-read this post several times to makes sure I’ve said it the way I intended it and in the voice I want you to hear.
The kind that makes me feel a little more alive this minute than I had the last.
Ah, yes, I’ve missed writing, I really have.
It’s time for me to return to it as I believe it’s been waiting for me.
So let’s try this again.